- Kara DioGuardi calls auditioner "B*tch"; redeems Idol premiere!
- I can hit Mariah Carey high pitch! God's gonna make you PAY!
- Idol Vocabulatary 101: Singing acapellalee with the wrong rectum (!?!)
- Idol Sobstory Poker: I SEE your seizures, and I RAISE you a homeless childhood!
- LIVE at the Kodak Theatre in Hollywood, Round 2: Kara vs. the b****!
- Top 36 revealed, reviewed, handicapped... and made fun of (where necessary)
- Group 1: The Puerto Rican sensation that's sweeping the nation: it's TATIMANIA!
- Top 13: Idols tackle Wacko Jacko songs, while Paula fights Chickens
- Top 13 Results: Recapping American Idol in 2 minutes and 45 seconds
- Top 11 Performance Recap: Reducing the hokiness of Grand Ole Opry Week into 6:43
- The Top 9 Performances in 5:15, and a very LIBERAL use of the term "top download"
- The Top 8 Performances in 5:43, and Danny Gokey's secret mutant twin!
- A 3 min 59 recap of the Top 7: the night Lil Rounds blew a gasket!
- A 4 minute and 30 second explanation for why Disco died!
- A 5 minutes 25 seconds of Standards and Jamie Foxx's crazy eyes!
- An American Idol Horror Story: The Scream, starring Danny Gokey